Day 22

English 101 Summer 2010 Day 22

Homework: Rough Draft of Your Journey Due Tomorrow. Bring Four copies, please.

TKAM Essays returned.

Notes:

Better job with applying HJ definitions this time.

Still working on this

Better job with topic sentences and summaries.

Still working on weaving in ample evidence.

MLA improved.

I liked the risks of Atticus and Jem as topics.

Clean copies?

On Wednesday, we'll look at successful essays for the first two assignments.

845 avg: 83.4 (Jasmin, Luis, Dora, Jim, Justin, Lisa and Jessica all improved scores)

1030 avg: 84.1 (Julio, Caroline, Sandra, Lloyd and Moya all improved their scores)

Expert Performance Movement.

Rubric for narrative prompt.

Review from Last Wednesday:

Narrative in Creative Non-fiction

1. Characters (186)
   
   1. You become a character
      
   2. Major ones should be round, have more than one attribute, change over time
      
   3. My father was a great guy v. Mosquitos would not bite him (186)
      

1. Consistency, Complexity, (these first two are in tension) Individuality
   

Setting (187)

"If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there."

–Anton Chekhov

1. Time & Place (physical environment)
   

For example: Greasy Lake, Death of a Salesman, To Build a Fire, The Storm

New notes:

Dialogue (118)

Short

Vivid

Believable

Tips on Dialogue

In two's: I'm sorry but…

1. The first writer pulls out a piece of paper and begins their dialogue with the words "I'm sorry, but…". They complete the sentence and pass the journal to their partner.
   
2. The partner, after reading the sentence, writes a line (or paragraph) of dialogue which heightens the tension.
   
3. Keep passing the journal back and forth, trying to throw curve balls at one another without delving into the absurd.
   
4. Try not to rely on dialogue tags to reveal how the character is speaking.
   
5. In fact, don't use dialogue tags at all. Rely on your word choice and punctuation.
   

Listen to how people talk to each other

• Most of it is the weather.
  
• He's like a bull in a china shop…
  
• Eating out. Bars. Waiting rooms. Cell phone jerks. At the checkout.
  

More notes on dialogue:

Dialogue is not real speech, but it should sound like it.

• Cut words and phrases that don't move things along
  

Don't use dialogue to provide exposition—keep it to three sentences or less

Break it up with action—remind us they are physical

Vary signal phrases, but keep it simple. Don't use elaborate signal phrases (she expostulated, he interjected)

Avoid stereotypes in dialect, but…

• Huck Finn
  
• To Kill a Mockingbird
  

Don't over use slang/profanity. "Slang goes sour in a short time." --EH

Read a lot. Note good/bad

Punctuate correctly

• Use quotation marks.
  

Start a new paragraph when changing speakers.

Point of View (131)

Tense (132)

Structure—Hero's Journey.

We'll talk about Wednesday or Thursday.

For now, ¼, ½, ¼: Separation, Initiation, Return/Arrival

Exposition: 104

And "in media res"—Great Beginnings 1 and 2; Memorable Endings

Slides on Revision